If you were a Fire Emblem Character!

fucking dead
miss keisha
hp: 35
atk: 30
spd: 37
def: 32
res: 30
weapon: silver dagger+
assist: fucking this bitch up
inflicts def and res -10 on ally
special: IM A BAD BITCH YOU CANT KILL ME (1 turn cooldown)
self explanatory
A slot: ass whoopin
if unit initiates attack, unit gains 10 attack and speed
B slot: shirleys fucking gay
renames other hero "SHIRLEY, fucking gay" during combat
C slot: "are you iggy azalea?"
inflicts atk -7 on enemies who call unit iggy azalea

This is a very fun topic

Past Memory
Remnant (5 star Level 40 Neutral IVs) (Armor: Sword)
HP: 50
Atk: 53 (Base 36)
Spd: 20
Def: 31
Res: 36
Total: 174

Weapon: Grimwald: 16Mt 1Rng
Grants Atk+4 during combat if unit is attacked. Also grants Special cooldown charge +1 per attack. (Does not stack. Only highest value applied.)

Assist: Reposition

Special: Burning Claw (3 turn cooldown)
Boosts damage dealt by 50% of unit's Def + 30% of unit's Atk

A Slot: Close Defence 3
If unit is attacked by foe using sword, axe, lance, or dragonstone, unit receives Def/Res+6 during combat.

B Slot: Mind Terror
If unit's HP ≥ 50%, prevents follow up attack in combat from foes and enemy is inflicted with Special cooldown charge-1.
(If using similar skill, only highest value applied.)

C Slot: Armor March 3
If unit has an adjacent armored ally at the start of turn, unit and any such allies can move 1 extra space. (That turn only, does not stack.)

I personally like theorizing what other game characters would be like in Fire Emblem Heroes, especially Final Fantasy characters. For example:
Cloud, 1st Class SOLDIER
Infantry swordsman
Neutral 5* lvl 40 stats: 40 HP, 36 Atk, 37 Spd, 26 Def, 25 Res (BST 164)
Weapon: Buster Sword (duh) 16 Mt, Rng 1
-Swordbreaker 3 built-in
Special: Two options for this one, couldn't decide which
-Omnislash: Grants 200% to damage dealt (6 turn CD)
-Finishing Touch: Grants +80% to attack (also a 6 turn CD)
Passive A: Sturdy Blow 2
Passive B: Wolf Charm (if foe uses sword, damage taken from first attack is reduced by 50%)
Passive C: Spd Tactic (same as Atk and Def Tactic but for Spd)

I did my best to reflect Cloud's very powerful offensive nature without making him completely overpowered, which is why I made those specials 6 turn cooldowns. My goal was to make a hyper offensive unit that can render units like Ayra, Zelgius, and Mia powerless. He is going to be weak to blues due to lower defensive stats, and enemy phase use wouldn't be recommended, as Brave weapons can kill him easily.

The Unlucky One
Drive (5* neutral TT reward) (infantry lance)

Hp: 1
Atk: 40
Spd: 40
Def: 40
Res: 40

Bst: 161

Weapon:
Da best wepon: 15 mt
Built-in dc
If defending unit can't make follow-up attacks
If attacking and if unit will double the enemy the damage of both attacks will be done on the first attack
Unit can't get buffed by rallys, etc. Only spurs
Slows special cooldown (count +1)
Can't replace this weapon.
Changes your summoner name to The Lucky One

Assist: Share the Luck
Turn bonuses on ally into penalties
It can be used to charge special

Special: Rage Againt the Odds (2 cooldown)
Inverts the Sniping Colors effect and doubles it (only doubles when it procs)
Each time special is used unit shifts between lucky and unlucky

Skills:
A: Sniping Colors 3 (unlucky version)
Does 15% less damage to 5* exclusive heroes
Does 15% more damage to non-5* exclusive heroes

Sniping Colors 3 (lucky version)
Does 15% more damage to 5* exclusive heroes
Does 15% less damage to non-5* exclusive heroes

B: Getting Lucky/Unlucky
If unit's hp = 100%
Change your odds after combat

C: Threaten Luck
At start of turn foes within 2 spaces get demoted by 1* until their next actions

title:The crazed one
name:Choco Dough( infantry sword)
HP:40
Atk:50(Base 34)
Spd:38
Def:25
Res:25
Weapon: Crazed Blade 16Mt1Rng
Allows unit to attack twice when under 75% health. when under 40% health if unit kill enemy unit is granted another turn to attack.
assist: none
special: crazed flash(3 turn cooldown)
grants 50% attack to damage
A slot: chocos revenge
when taking damage adds 50% of damage to counter damage when attacking back
B slot: wings of mercy
C slot: threaten atk/def
minus atk and def 5 within 2 spaces

Here’s mine:
Guardian of the mountain - Brenna (Infantry Axe)
Hp: 37
Atk: 49 (base 33)
Spd: 39
Def: 23
Res: 29
Weapon: Audun (Mt. 16) - foes and unit cannot counterattack, grants the ability for unit to counterattack when at <=50% HP (basically firesweep axe with a twist)
Special: Heavy Rain (4 turn cooldown) - before combat, if unit initiates attack, foes in a large area around target take damage equal to 30% of damage dealt to target
A slot: Swift Strike 2
B slot: Earthbound - if unit’s hp is >= 80%, unit ignores foe’s terrain bonuses when initiating combat
C slot: Spd Smoke 3
I don’t know, I usually like these topics a lot but I wasn’t prepared so I had to brainstorm something that kinda sucks but oh well... I had other ideas in my old phone but I lost my notes lol

Fucking Magnets
Rin Core
Armor-Blue-Tome
HP 45
Atk 33 base
Spd 21
Def 30
Res 34
Weapon: Swift Tome (If sing or dance is used, unit also gains +1 to movement [does not stack with other similar skills])
Command: Sing (Can't dance in armor!)
Special: None (Units don't come with commands and specials)
A: Def/Res Bond 3
B: Smarter than the AI (Auto Battle AI becomes considerably smarter)
C: Magnetic Repulsion (If unit is adjacent to another armor alley at start of turn, both that unit and this one can move over any tile that a flying alley could.)

Hieu: Jet- Black Wanderer
Weapon: Massacring Edge(Spd+3) 14MT, +5 Damage when Special triggers
Assist: Reposition
Special: Flashing Luna: 2CD (Resolve combat as if foe suffered Def/Res-50%)
A: Swift Sparrow
B: Wrath 3
C: Threaten Speed
S: Speed +3
Stats
HP: 39
Atk: 34
Spd: 40
Def: 30
Res: 24

I'd like to see myself as an Axe unit since I always liked Axes most in all FE games but I'd just lie to myself... so I'm going with a hypothetical unit that fits me a bit more:

Daemon
- Great Procrastinator (Infantry Red Mage)
HP: 39
Atk: 33
Spd: 20
Def: 27
Res: 32
BST: 151

Wpn: Philosopher's Tome (16 mt.) - Damage calculated using the lower of foe's Def or Res. Accelerated Special Trigger (cooldown count-1).
Special: Approaching Deadline - When under attack, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+3. (4CD)
Assist: -
A: Close Counter
B: Cancel Affinity
C: Atk Tactic

I could get so much done, if only I could bring myself to do ANYTHING really...

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Fluorene - Melancholy College Student
Flying Blue Mage

HP: 35
ATK: 50
SPD: 20
DEF: 20
RES: 20

Legendary Dire Thunder - 16 mt, unit attacks twice when initiating combat
Special: Moonbow
A: Death Blow 3
B: Lancebreaker 3
C: Hone Fliers

I’m flying Reinhardt

*****
The Revelry
Vel
Colorless Bow
(Does not get IVs)
HP - 42
Atk - 51 (Base 37)
Spd - 25
Def - 30
Res - 30
BST - 164
Bow - Immortal Retribution: 14 Mt, 2 Rng
After combat unit recovers HP equal to 30% of remaining HP total
Assist - Drag back
Special - Miracle
A - Lone Guardian
During combat unit gains bonuses equal to bonuses on foe
B - Guard
C - Drive Atk/Spd
Grants allies within two spaces +2 Atk/Spd during combat

Legendary Dumbass
Kevin (axe infantry)
HP 45
ATK 35
SPD 3
DEF 40
RES 36

Weapon : Frying pan 1mt
Just a dumbass weapon, Enables counterattack regardless of distance if this unit is attacked and also accelerate special trigger (-1)

Assist : Hey, do you want some fried chicken?
Restore 15hp each to target and this unit

Special : We're out of chicken! (2 cooldown)
Boosts damage dealt by 80% of unit's Def

A slot : I'm not smart,but i'm not a dumbass!
Prevents follow up attack in combat from foe

B slot : Frying pan IN UR FACE
Special cooldown count -1 at start of turn if Special triggers by attacking

C slot : Burp! Where is my beer?!
If unit hp <=40%, cannot counterattack or initiate attack, gain +5 def +5 res and defensives stats cannot be lowered or ignored

Just a dumbass unit!

Grace of the Wind
Natalia (5 star level 40) (Flier: Staff)
HP: 29 (+3/-3)
Atk: 27 (+4/-3)
Spd: 38 (+3/-3)
Def: 14 (+3/-4)
Res: 35 (+3/-3)
Raw Rating: 143 (+1/-1)

Weapon: Guatha: 14 Mt 2 Rng
Damage calculated using the lower of foe's Def or Res and the higher of unit's Def or Res. Slowed Special (+1 Special Cooldown).
Assist: Rejuvenate: Restores 12 HP. Ally also gains Special cooldown charge +1. 1 Rng.
Special: Helpful Aether (4 turn cooldown)
Resolve combat as if foe suffered Def/Res-50%.
All allies recover HP = 50% of damage dealt.
A Slot: N/A
B Slot: Dazzling Staff 3
C Slot: Live to Serve 3