I can't control myself

Hm... Relatable... Noire and Cordelia are killing me.

It seems you are a F2P player, but even if its not the case, its important to keep focus on what do you want to do in the game. If you want to play waifu emblem, its fine, but if you want merges to score for tier 20 arena, you have to be more patient and wait till your heroes banner.

I feel your pain. I've been doing the same thing. I had 500 last legendary banner, and it took me 300 orbs to get Flying Azura (my #1 pick), and even then not many pity breakers along the way. The good news about luck is I should do better the next legendary banner. I want W!Tharja, but I also want to save up for next CYL2.

Admittedly it's hard when great characters come out, especially Tier 1 quality. My best advice is to look at each banner and ask yourself if it is worth NOT pulling altogether (except for the free pull of course!). There are two banners a month, so try and skip one of those at a minimum.

And if you're like me and addicted to the game, sometimes you have to walk away from it and not think about it for a while!!

Best of luck to you.

"I don't understand why I pull because I don't even want her in the first place."

I think you need to think seriously about why you do this. Clearly you don't want to waste your orbs, so what's making you pull?

Best I can suggest is that you get another hobby. When a new banner comes out that doesn't have units you want to get, put down FE and do something else so you're not tempted to summon out of boredom or whatever it is that's making you do this.

You will feel better when you have plenty of orbs to spend on the banner you want.

That's a gambling habit forming there. So long as it doesn't go as far as buying orbs you'll be fine. The only hope is to never look at banners and convince yourself every unit but Brave Celica is worthless to you. Stay strong, think if Celica and that spending your orbs now means only more Raigh, set him as your phones background so every time you see him you know what a waste of orbs it is summoning now.

I went through a quite serious, real money orbs problem starting about the Performing Arts banner last year and getting seriously bad trying for Winter Tharja which scared me straight for a while. I buy orbs occasionally but haven't in nearly a month and have no intention of trying for a better Noire which was what did me on Rhajat and Tharja.

I get it - it's difficult. But if you really take a step back and look at the units compared to what is available, especially in the 3-4 star pool, I find it easier to resist the temptation. Akariss is a YouTube/Twitch content creator that really does a great job of looking at this game objectively - his insight is quite helpful.

Sure, Cordelia is the fastest lance cav, but if you merge up an Oscar, you can run similar builds to Cordelia with very similar (if not better if you merge high enough) results than just a base Cordelia. Tana is quite unique, so she honestly is probably worth pulling for if you require a mage flier, but even if you do get her you could get a terrible IV like -spd or something. And if you did want to merge up Oscar, you could accumulate copies of him pulling for other targets and have much more IV flexibility. He would just be an added bonus!

Make sure you have a content related goal in mind with this game, and focus on trying to accomplish that goal. I was once just a hype chaser, but after looking at my barracks of benched seasonals and bad IV units, I noticed my 3-4 star merges were my true prizes.

Gambling addiction is a hell of a drug. Just be happy you don't spend money